funny
Bastille Live

Wherein Latimer and Ridley attend a gig with the cool Indie kids!
Ridley: We went to a gig last Thursday night, the doors opened at 7pm and it was over at half ten. I’ve since realised I’m turning into an old fogie; I was happy that it was over early. It meant that while I had fun, I was still able to go home, potter round in my pjs and not have to go to bed too late as I had work the next morning.
As I returned home, my feet aching from new boots I hadn’t bothered to break in (I never learn my lesson), I wondered what happened to my devil-may-care self, where did she disappear to? The Ridley who didn’t give a fig if I rocked in at 2am even when I was due to be up for 7am?
Latimer: Big mistake!! Always break in new shoes!
Ridley: To be honest though, devil-may-care me never really existed, that scenario only occurred a handful of times (and I always regretted them!). I’ve always been a tad too sensible for my own good and I hate early mornings as it is, so if I haven’t gotten my full night sleep, I’m like a kicked bear (very cranky I’d imagine)!
Anyway, we went to see the band, Bastille. I hadn’t heard about them before this, our excellent friend Orbie told us they are up and coming.
Ridley: I like being ‘in the known’, it feels like I’ve been let in on a secret only a few people are aware of. In a year or two when Bastille are playing on every radio channel, I’ll be able to sit back with a smug smile and say, ‘I went to see them long before they were famous.’ I’ll annoy everyone! Haha.
The gig was held in the Academy, a place I haven’t been in since it was only a grimy nightclub named Spirit (and that was seven or eight years ago).



Unsurprisingly, they’ve done it up-kind of. For the event, we were in a the basement (Academy Two), the ceiling was low, dark, with thick black metal columns supporting it (they were actually those industrial supports used when building work is being done, a tad worrying.), the walls were dark brick and the wooden stage was tiny, you could reach out and touch the band. It had an appealing hippy dishevelled look, though I’m certain I wouldn’t have been all that impressed if all of the lights had been turned on, showing every crack and dust pile.
There were two supporting acts to get the crowd going (there couldn’t have been more than about hundred people there). I found myself a nice pillar to lean against (helped me deal with my pinching boots! Oh, how my toes hate me.) Having found a perfect spot to see the stage, I noticed quite a tall man, with very large hair, in front of us, blocking the view of the stage.
Latimer was eyeing him too and leaned over to whisper, “I hope he’s not going to stand there all night, we won’t be able to see the band.”

Little did we know, he definitely wasn’t going to stay there, especially since when he turned around to leave, we realised it was the lead singer of Bastille; Dan Smith (who was born on Bastille Day, hence the band name! Louie, Orbie’s friend, told us this!)! We burst out laughing. Imagine complaining we wouldn’t be able to see the band, because their lead singer was standing in our way!
Though that wasn’t the last ‘interaction’ we had with him, well, that Latimer had with him anyway. 😀
They went through a fantastic repertoire of songs that had the room hopping and their speakers were so loud, my throat vibrated with the sound from them. At one point I was convinced I wasn’t able to breath properly!
Latimer: I love the atmosphere at these gigs when the band can play live and interact so well with the crowd, it’s incredible.Bastille are so talented. I love the sound of Dan Smith’s voice and their music is so lively.
They did a brilliant cover of Rhythm of the Night; a great song anyway, but they made it there own.
Ridley: During the second last song of the night, Dan put on a hoodie and descended into the crowd (Latimer hypotheses this is because he didn’t want people to touch his hair! His gorgeous gravity defying hair!), he sung with the microphone lead hanging over people’s heads. He ran around the sides and into the middle. People went mad, we were all like mini-paparazzi flashing camera at him and other people were patting him on the head. I was delighted, having only been half an arms distance from him, little did I know he actually tripped into Latimer who was in front of me somewhere! One day, it’ll be a story she tells her future children…maybe! She should freeze and preserve whatever part of her touched him (how sore!!), it could become very valuable! Haha.
Wonder what that would fetch on ebay?
Latimer: He came towards me, crouched low and I started backing away my mind screaming; ‘gaaaah, don’t come near me!’. I stumbled back into two girls, then as he twisted to bop along with the crowd, he fell into me, and I touched his back in a ‘gaah, get away’ kind of manner. Haha, is that how I’d react to all possibly famous and famous people?
If Ricky Gervais fell on top of me would I push him off screaming? Part of me hopes this won’t happen… the other, that it does! I laughed to Ridley afterwards, and said Dan falling on top of me was like two stars colliding. She stared.
“Well, you’re deluded.”
Probably!
We might catch up with Bastille again in March when they return to Dublin… will they play a bigger venue? How will life change for them… it’ll be interesting to see 🙂
Vogue Vogue Go with The Flow!
Latimer and Ridley hit the ‘beautification button’ and got dolled up for a photoshoot… no seriously… they did!

Ridley: We’ve been doing exciting things the last little while. Busy, busy! We got our structural edits back from our editor. So the last two and a half weekends, Friday night to Sunday evening, (with many cups of tea), in between colds and broken laptops, we’ve been working away through his notes. We’ve been changing, adding, rewriting and generally whimpering. The words, ‘location description’, have become despised at MLR central! Haha! It seems while we’re decent enough at the ole characters, setting them into a specific location and describing it is something we forget to do. (Sure, why do we need to do this, it’s in our heads, we see it, surely you all have telepathic powers and can see it too, no?? Haha.)
Latimer: It’s going really well. We feel pretty positive. Although writing a story is fun, it’s a lot of hard work, but every time we edit the story gets tighter. We are now nearing the ‘we are happy’ point! So onward, onward we go!
Ridley: Other than that, the second exciting thing we’ve been getting up to is we did a joint photo shoot a few weeks ago (I love saying this, we sound so professional! ‘I can’t do Saturday, I have a photo shoot to attend, shall I check my diary and I’ll get back to you?’ Ha!) Anyway, yes a photo shoot and before I run away with a massive hot air balloon sized head, it was a groupon voucher deal (a company that gives fantastic discounts on different things, from hotel breaks away, bean bags to teeth whitening!) Anyway, we jumped at the chance to do the photo shoot, not only was it something completely different, we wanted a nice author biography picture for both the Amazon author page and our blog.
Latimer: I’ve never been properly done up so this was great fun! My constant thought was, ‘well, however I look, it will be the best I can ever look, so, please God don’t let it be bad!’.
Ridley: Now, getting my picture taken is not one of my favourite past times. I think we were both worried that we’d be stiff and awkward in front of the camera. (Smile with your eyes people!) However, going in we’d decided we wanted it to be as natural as possible, no posing.
Latimer: I was worried it would take ages for us to warm up and then it would be over and we would be left with some very awkward photos!
Ridley: When we arrived at the studio (MFK on Dame Street, in Dublin), it was in an old building on the second floor. However, to get up there we had to walk through a Chinese herbal shop (I know, really weird, right?) The shop also happened to be closed. So it was dark when we walked in. Expecting to be met by glamorous studio people with flawless skin and high stilettos, we stopped and stared around at the giant jars filled with dried who knows what.
There was this little white door just in on the right with a black arrow and the words MFK studio. I reached out thinking that we had to duck in through it and maybe twist up some narrow winding stairs. I swung it open and tried to walk into an electric box. We burst out laughing. Eventually, we found the lift just around the corner.
Once upstairs, we had our makeup done and our hair styled for us. Then we were ushered up to a small room with a white backdrop (and a black one to the side) and giant spot lights (my eyes started watering at one point from them). The photographer was very welcoming. When we explained we had cups that we wanted in the photo (we wanted it to appear as if we’d been having a cup of tea and a chat).
I think she thought we were crazy, but then she said a few weeks ago, there was a woman who wanted to have tea cakes in her picture. (*Sigh* That would have been a great addition with the cup of tea! Haha.)
We had so much fun. The two of us and the photographer basically spent the whole time giggling, you should see some of the rejected photos, we’re bent over (we were telling her about how I walked into the cupboard downstairs). She let us in on the old trick of extras in the background of Fair City (Dublin based TV show) use the word, ‘rhubarb’, to appear as if they’re talking about something.
That cracked us up; the idea of all these people wandering around a television studio set mumbling rhubarb at each other while the main actors said their lines. So, of course, we started saying it. Anyway, by the end and shots later, here’s the two we picked!
Latimer: Hopefully they look like we are having a laugh and a bit of craic, Irish stylie!
Ridley: The only other time we had so much fun with a camera was when we were in Tokyo and we discovered the photo booths in their arcade centres, there’s loads of them (in the same building as the infamous pachinko parlours).
Latimer: These photos are called ‘purikura’ and are very popular with the ‘kids’.
Ridley: Each one have different effects, in the one we picked we had five seconds to copy different random J-pop poses before the camera flashed, then you can basically add loads of effects and random clip art to the resulting photos. This was the result.
Latimer: Very crazy pictures you have been warned! The people on the screen suggest the poses- we didn’t do them randomly… ah sigh well, here they are!
Broken Laptop & Delirium
Ridley: Apologies for the radio silence recently, we’ve been a little absent from the blogging and twittering world. Mainly because I’m down with a cold (What’s new! I’ve the immune system of a dead person!) and Latimer is currently banned from the internet. Well…her laptop is broken. Yes, I heard the collective wince. I winced even as I typed that. I will readily admit I’m an internet addict (and a chocolate and caffeine one, we all have our vices!) so that would be hell on earth for me (and it is for her too!). You really don’t realise how often you turn on your computer until you no longer have it!
Now, you’ll have to picture her pulling out her hair and pacing furiously, while simultaneously pleading and threatening her silent blank screen. I’m just hoping the IT peoples she brought it to can recover the information on it! I’d say she’d have had to hold back the urge to not punch the IT man as he dithered over whether he could fix it. I imagine it could have gone like this, (but for the fact that she’s a nice, polite self-restrained individual):
Latimer slams in through the glass door of the shop. It’s still fairly empty, having just opened a minute and a half ago. Her feet make a scratching sound as she scurries across their grey carpet, zipping in between the aisles of empty boxes advertising anti-viral software and straight to customer service. When she reaches the white counter, a man in a yellow t-shirt has his back to her. She swings her laptop bag around and slides onto the counter top.
“Help me…please.” She whispers. “It’s broken.”
The man jumps and twists round, dropping his pen. He blinks at her sudden appearance. “Wel-welcome to the IT help desk.” He stumbles and then swoops down under the desk to pick up his biro. “How can I help you?”
Latimer frowns at him and points at the black square bag. “It’s broken. I don’t know what happened. It won’t turn on.”
“Of course, well then you’ve come to the right place. Let me take a look.” He slides the laptop out and peers at the underside of it.
“So it won’t turn on…now, you did plug it in, right?” He asks.
Latimer’s hands drop down to her sides, her fingers twitch. She narrows her eyes. “Yes.”
He nods and opens it up. “Intel pentium core processor…good…”
“Hmm hmm…” Latimer’s fingers begin to drum against her thigh.
He examines it, there’s silence for a little while. Latimer bounces on the balls of her feet.
“So…” She bites her lip. “Does it look bad, can you fix it?”
He starts mumbling to himself. ‘Well…I suppose, I could try to…but then I don’t know if that would work. Hmm…’ He scratches his head with his blue pen. Latimer’s hands curl into fists. ‘I wonder if I…’
He turns the laptop round. He jams his pen behind his ear and jabs at a few keys, frowning down in intense concentration. Latimer leans in nodding, her eyes widen. “Yes?”
After a few moments, he draws back with a shake of his head. “No, the power button isn’t the answer anyway…”
*SMACK* Latimer throws down her laptop case.
“I’ll kill you!” She leaps over the counter and shakes the man by his collar. “Fix it! Fix it, god damnit!”
“No Latimer! It’s not worth it!” (Some random person who happens to know her shouts-as I’m not there, but if I was, ’tis what I would say! haha.)
People haul her off of him. He’s unscathed, but the same can’t be said for her. The police are called. It all ends up with her rocking in the corner of a damp mouldy cell, giggling and muttering to herself. “Fix it…fix…fix…fix….I’ll fix it…”
Her one phone call is made to Ridley-not a good idea this time (is it ever a good idea? haha).
Ridley is at home, her flowery covers have been tugged up to her chin. She’s shivering and sweating in bed. There are empty tubes of Tyrozet throat lozenges littering the floor in amongst scrunched up tissue paper and tatty brown cardboard toilet rolls.
She’s randomly hollering out words in her delirium.
“Nurofen!”
“Batman!”
Ridley often gets up and wanders to the kitchen like a grumpy Lurch, peering in the cupboard for things to make her feel better and making endless cups of tea.
When she returns to her room, she peers around.
“Who put these little flashing lights in my room, they won’t turn off!”
Then she realises they’re in her eyes.
A distinct overpowering whiff of TCP wafts from her to join the smell of cooking chicken that’s drifting up from downstairs. Her mother is in the kitchen, she’s like a witch over a cauldron with a big wooden spoon. Churning and churning a bubbling broth in a large saucepan. She’s making Chicken Penicillin and she’s tossing in vegetables, spices, whole chicken carcasses and chanting about, “Bone marrow and antibodies!”
Ridley gladly accepts anything to relieve the misery. She really doesn’t remember when she swallowed the barbed wire that is now stuck in her throat.
As she feasts on her soup, and having taken more drowsy medication, her mobile beside her rings.
“Hello?” She whispers in a hoarse voice.
“Ridley! Help me, my laptop is broken! And I’m in jail!”
Ridley pulls back and peers at the number on the screen. She puts the phone back to her ear. “Who is this?”
“What do you mean, who is this? It’s Latimer! You need to get me out of here, I need to fix my computer!”
Ridley yawns, her tablets begin to kick in. “I don’t understand…my brain it’s not…Lat I can’t help right now, ‘m sorry…ring back later.”
“What!? No, wait…”
Ridley hangs up and immediately nods off.
When she wakes up. She begins to remember the dream, which involved chicken soup and a phone call. She shuffles downstairs, trying to recall its ending. There’s a reporter in the kitchen. There are also two scientists in white coats, huddling over the grubby silver saucepan and poking at a raw onion. 
“I’ve just won a prize!” Her mother beams. “I found the cure to the common cold!”
“Your mother’s made a massive break through.” The man at the kitchen table says with his head bent over his notepad.
“Has she.” Ridley nods to her mother. “Well done. Always said your soup was some good stuff.”
“Your phone keeps ringing, I just took it out of your room, as you were fast asleep and I didn’t want it to wake you.” Her mother hands her back her mobile.
“I’m sure it probably wasn’t important.” Ridley shrugs and scrolls down through the missed calls, the log shows numbers that get longer and more foreign with each hour. There are numerous text messages too.
“Ridley, I’m now in Panama. It’s quite hot here.”
2 hours later: “The Spanish is confusing me, amigo.”
7 hours later: “Could you send me sun cream?”
7 hours and 2 minutes: “Rid, how do you cure burns?”
8 hours later: “Slowly rising up the ranks, turns out one of the main mob bosses likes Lord of the Rings too. Lots in common.”
10 hours later: “Am now his right hand man…woman. Thinking of getting a tattoo. Ideas?“
12 hours later: “It’s a bit loco here at the moment, we’ve decided to stage a break out. I told them all about that one episode of ‘Prison Break’, I watched. It seemed to give them all ideas.“
15 hours later: “Success! On the way home, can you pick me up from the airport? I’ll show you my new tattoo! Arriving at 5.”
Ridley sighs and glances at the clock, it’s 4.30. Lights from a camera flash blind her. The reporter has started taking pictures of her mother holding up a soup bowl and a spoon.
“I’m going to go change. Gotta pick up Latimer.” Ridley turns to go climb back up the stairs and texts: “Fine. Going to be a little late though.”
She gets an immediate reply.
“No problem. BTW I’ve brought friends. See you in a bit 🙂 ”
“Have fun!” Her mother calls.
“Depends on your definition.” Ridley mutters.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And that, my friends, is how it all went down, in my head. Haha. Who knows what happens when I got to that airport. I was probably insanely jealous of Latimer’s great tan and cool tattoo (or horrific sun burn and hodge-podge black smudge?) Either way, fun times!
Need more sleep I think! 🙂
Thanks to freedigitalphotos.com for my pictures (except the TCP one,that’s all mine)
Easily Amused
Ridley: I’m amused easily. I’m also a people watcher. Add these two together and you can have endless entertainment! Who needs television when you have a brain like mine?
I find amusing or entertaining things just staring out my bedroom window. Now I don’t live in a beautiful picturesque mountainous region, overlooking a glacial lake, or even in a bad neighbourhood with knife wielding hoodlums (not that I’d class this as amusing, more dramatic with a pinch of terrifying).

It’s all fairly standard, there are houses around me and across the road there is a green area.
Despite the normal surroundings, the other day I leaned out the window absolutely fascinated by two scenes that were happening simultaneously. Most people would probably have passed by without a second glance, while I stood for twenty minutes staring out, absolutely riveted. (Part of it, of course, was also to do with me making up the story and adding dialogue in my head as it was happening. I probably looked strange, staring out, unblinking with a glazed expression and a wide grin….creeepy….)
Now, that makes me sound a bit like one of those nosey neighbour types (or worse) that always have the net curtains twitching, I’m not! Though I do fear it for my sixties, but I’ll fight against the urge.
Back from that little side journey…the first scene had two cats. The second had two male students, moving out for the summer.
Let me set the first scene…
Travelling through tall grass, a sleek black cat spotted something ahead and froze. Then after a full body quiver, he crouched low along the side of the green. He was every inch a miniature lion from the Serengeti, stalking its next prey. Paw by paw he stepped forward through the grass.
Behind him, slipping round the corner of the wall was a cute fluffy orange kitten. He looked like he was high on glucose injected skittles.

Meanwhile, in a house across the street, the two male students were loitering outside their front door. They were soon joined by a car pulling up beside them; their parents. The Irish mammy and daddy had arrived to the rescue, to help them move out. They had a trailer too. They started parking it, awkwardly, up the drive way.
In the green, the kitten had joined the hunting cat, scurrying up alongside him to stare down at him with its head cocked. The black cat’s tail flicked, he tried to ignore his cute fuzzy visitor. Still almost lying flat along the ground, he sped up to try to escape him. Orange kitten paused, peering after him and then bounced forward.

In the house across the road, it soon became clear that the two boys had decided to collect their rubbish during the year, instead of paying for the weekly bin collection. Black plastic bag after bag was carried out by them from the back garden, as the mother wrung her hands, and supervised. The father crossed his arms with a heavy glare.
You can just imagine the conversation once they’d finished and the trailer was packed high.
Irish Mammy shook her hands at her boy, “Oh Johnny, why did you do this to me? If you’d asked we’d have given you the money for the bin collection.”
“Sorry, Mam,” Son rubbed the back of his neck. Nearby, his friend was kicking the side of the pavement with his head lowered, trying to avoid the frowns and anguished cries.
“What sort of state is the house in?” Irish Mammy wandered to the front door. She disappeared inside.
At the same time, the black cat had almost reached his prey, all the while valiantly ignoring the bouncing kitten at his side.
Irish Mammy reappeared at the front window as she threw back the curtains and turned to stare at the room with her hands on her hips. With her back to the garden, the Son glanced at his Dad.
“Eh…there’s more…” He jerked his thumb to the side of the house and began to walk backwards. His friend was poised, ready to sprint to the back with him and help. They were both staring at the Dad.
“For feck sake…” Irish Daddy sighed and folded his arms. “Go on, but don’t let your mother see, otherwise I’ll get it in the neck and then you’ll be hearing about it from me.”
“Thanks!” The two boys scuttled away. They brought back five more bags.
It was then the orange kitten finally realised what his more serious friend was doing…


He shot passed the black cat, no finesse, no planning, just pure enthusiasm. He ploughed at the butterfly, which then fluttered into the air, untouched.
The black cat turned away with a violent flick of his tail and a hiss, leaving the kitten leaping after a butterfly that was now around ten feet too high to ever reach.

At the house, the parents folded themselves back into their car and beeped as they drove away.

Once they were out of sight, the two boys abandoned their slumped shoulders and bowed heads. They glanced at each other, gave a massive high five and then scrambled back inside with giant grins….
You’ll just have to imagine I was like a spectator at a particularly fantastic Wimbledon match, my head was whipping from side to side, trying to catch it all!
Ah easy amusement, never leave me…
Metro Madness
Ridley: I just had the subway ride from hell. I couldn’t even engineer some of the situations that I end up getting myself into. On the way back from the Alice in Wonderland restaurant in Ginza (more on that later), we took the subway back to our hotel.
The carriage was mental, absolutely packed! I was squashed up against two people in particular. There was one boy and his girlfriend to my right and slightly behind me. As the train slowed to a stop, we both moved further in and away from each other to clear some more space for other people, I was jerked backwards. I looked behind me at the same time as the boy did, to find part of my jeans (the loop of material with the brand symbol-see picture) had somehow caught on a zipper on his backpack. (How I ask you!? Only me…)
Now, I’m sure as he felt the tug at his bag, he was thinking, who the hell is stealing from me, while I was panicking with ‘aaah, someone’s got my ass, I’ve heard this happens on the subway!’ He slipped off his schoolbag, as I leant round and tried to unhook myself but I couldn’t see properly. So I let the boy have a go. He alternated between trying to help and putting his hands up as if afraid I was going to accuse him of molesting me, which at this point I wanted to tell him I didn’t care as long as he freed me and I got my ass back. I think he even turned to his girlfriend to reassure her that he wasn’t doing just that. She was craning her neck around his shoulder to see what was happening. My face was a bright tomato red by now.
As we struggled, the doors opened and a wall of people mashed into us, we were shoved closer together. It was hot, stuffy and we were laughing and saying sorry in English and Japanese all at the same time, as we fumbled down at my backside and the new people frowned and peered over at us. Thankfully, his girlfriend reached round and freed me. Just in time. I turned away with a final sorry and thanks, only to have the train suddenly shoot forward. I fell back on a few people and grabbed a girl in front of me. Her face filled with such panic it was hilarious (well now it is funny, not then), but it was probably a mirror expression of my own face as I realised her arm was like a twig and it wasn’t going to save me. I thankfully regained my balance, on a man’s foot, and then began another round of apologies, while we all kinda chuckled and my red cheeks steamed with embarrassment. Latimer, of course, was in stitches and so far away from me, she could pretend she didn’t know me. At the next stop, I lunged out through the doors, far away from the carriage of strangers that I hope to never meet again!
Latimer: Up until this very moment Ridley had thought I knew what was going on. Let me now enlighten you…. We were separated- Ridley was sucked into a crowd of people. I hung back at the doors of the train. I was bent backwards at an approximate 90 degree angle, grabbing at one of those hanging hoops you use to steady yourself. Behind me, a man sat reading his paper; in my timeline, I was praying “do not fall on the man! DO NOT FALL ON THE MAN!” while Ridley is strapped to some random man’s bag. I of course had no idea. She’d been sucked to some otherworld as far as I was concerned. Then I turned and saw her looking at me, eyes wide as if to say “ehh?”. The girls in front of her were laughing. I started laughing; then we were all looking at each other laughing.
I looked and laughed to Ridley, girls, back to Ridley. In my head “yeah, it’s mad, we are all squashed on the train together… it’s mad? Isn’t it mad… Ridley, girls, Ridley?”. Laugh, Laugh, Laugh…. then we struggled out of the train at the next stop. And I learned the truth of why everyone was laughing. Well, at least everyone thought I knew what was going on… I came off pretty good… ha!
Sleep vs. Book: the cost of addiction
Latimer: Two nights in a row I’ve been up until 1.30am. And that’s not good when you have to get up at 7am!
I ended up watching episode 2 of Game of Thrones on Tuesday night. It was pretty crap actually- too much talking and gratuitous sex. My flatmate (Orbie) made a very good point about the sex, “why is it never the ones we want to see naked?”
“Fair point,” I said. “Like Robb Stark.”
Orbie nodded, “And Jon Snow- the hottest things in the show.”
Silently, I nodded, this is true, but then I chirped up, “And Jaime Lannister?”
She didn’t reply. Is it just me? I’m going to wait for Ridley to shoot me down on that (I don’t expect her to, but the heart of a woman is a fickle thing. We find beauty in strange places at times and expect others to loudly declare they are sisters in arms with us, when in actuality they look at us with scorn and reproach! But then in turn, we’ll do the same thing when they come forward and admit their guilty pleasure!).
Anyway, so we watched Game of Thrones.
Then, I headed to bed to finish reading Book 2 of the Hunger Games (it wasn’t my intention initially to finish it, but that’s what happened- like a crack addict I OD’d on reading). I stumbled, bleary-eyed to the bathroom at 1am (1 chapter left at this point). As I passed Orbie’s room, the light was on (this was weird). “Hmm,” I thought. Then shrugged, stumbling back to my room to finish gobbling down Book 2.
I woke up the next morning in a hazy half-dream state. I thought I was in the games for a minute, in some weird trippy after-effects of late-night reading. I shook my head and struggled off to make my breakfast. It was a while before Orbie materialised, clawing her way out of her room like a drunk, doped-up koala.
She stood blinking in the kitchen, “I’m so tired!” she moaned. “My eyes are burning! I can’t keep them open!”
I nodded, munching my toast. “Hmm, I know what you mean I was up last night reading.” Pause. “What time did you go to bed at?”
“2am!” she cried, using her fingers to hold her eyes open.
“What were you doing?” I inquired. My mind connecting the dots… I wondered….
“Reading.”
“What?” I pressed.
“Hunger Games Book 2!” she said with a sheepish smile, as if I would shoot her down.
“I knew it! Me too,” I squealed.
I told her I’d been up the previous night too. She asked if I had the one’s with the crap, horrible, garish covers (yes).
She scowled, “Those covers make it look like you are reading a kids book about aliens.”
I told her about how Ridley and I had gone to the bookshop after the movie (I’ll set the scene: movie ends, Ridley turns, a knowing smile on her face; “bookshop” she asks, but it’s not really a question. I squeal like a child on too much sugar “YEEY!”- she knows me too well).
Orbie levelled a knowing look at me, “I told you, you would like it” (she had seen the film the previous week and told me, “you’d like it; it’s very good”).
I sigh, “Yeah, yeah, you and Ridley!”
Then, Orbie and I stumbled off our separate ways to work.
I’m saving Book 3 for the weekend. I have it under lock and key. I have to, I need sleep!

My name is Latimer and I’ve been Hunger Games free since 1.30am on Wednesday.
















