Metro Madness

Ridley: I just had the subway ride from hell. I couldn’t even engineer some of the situations that I end up getting myself into. On the way back from the Alice in Wonderland restaurant in Ginza (more on that later), we took the subway back to our hotel. The carriage was mental, absolutely packed! I was squashed up against two people in particular. There was one boy and his girlfriend to my right and slightly behind me. As the train slowed to a stop, we both moved further in and away from each other to clear some more space for other people, I was jerked backwards. I looked behind me at the same time as the boy did, to find part of my jeans (the loop of material with the brand symbol-see picture) had somehow caught on a zipper on his backpack. (How I ask you!? Only me…) Now, I’m sure as he felt the tug at his bag, he was thinking, who the hell is stealing from me, while I was panicking with ‘aaah, someone’s got my ass, I’ve heard this happens on the subway!’ He slipped off his schoolbag, as I leant round and tried to unhook myself but I couldn’t see properly. So I let the boy have a go. He alternated between trying to help and putting his hands up as if afraid I was going to accuse him of molesting me, which at this point I wanted to tell him I didn’t care as long as he freed me and I got my ass back. I think he even turned to his girlfriend to reassure her that he wasn’t doing just that. She was craning her neck around his shoulder to see what was happening. My face was a bright tomato red by now. As we struggled, the doors opened and a wall of people mashed into us, we were shoved closer together. It was hot, stuffy and we were laughing and saying sorry in English and Japanese all at the same time, as we fumbled down at my backside and the new people frowned and peered over at us. Thankfully, his girlfriend reached round and freed me. Just in time. I turned away with a final sorry and thanks, only to have the train suddenly shoot forward. I fell back on a few people and grabbed a girl in front of me. Her face filled with such panic it was hilarious (well now it is funny, not then), but it was probably a mirror expression of my own face as I realised her arm was like a twig and it wasn’t going to save me. I thankfully regained my balance, on a man’s foot, and then began another round of apologies, while we all kinda chuckled and my red cheeks steamed with embarrassment. Latimer, of course, was in stitches and so far away from me, she could pretend she didn’t know me. At the next stop, I lunged out through the doors, far away from the carriage of strangers that I hope to never meet again!

Latimer: Up until this very moment Ridley had thought I knew what was going on. Let me now enlighten you…. We were separated- Ridley was sucked into a crowd of people. I hung back at the doors of the train. I was bent backwards at an approximate 90 degree angle, grabbing at one of those hanging hoops you use to steady yourself. Behind me, a man sat reading his paper; in my timeline, I was praying “do not fall on the man! DO NOT FALL ON THE MAN!” while Ridley is strapped to some random man’s bag. I of course had no idea. She’d been sucked to some otherworld as far as I was concerned. Then I turned and saw her looking at me, eyes wide as if to say “ehh?”. The girls in front of her were laughing. I started laughing; then we were all looking at each other laughing. I looked and laughed to Ridley, girls, back to Ridley. In my head “yeah, it’s mad, we are all squashed on the train together… it’s mad? Isn’t it mad… Ridley, girls, Ridley?”. Laugh, Laugh, Laugh…. then we struggled out of the train at the next stop. And I learned the truth of why everyone was laughing. Well, at least everyone thought I knew what was going on… I came off pretty good… ha!

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