Ridley: If you are anyway like me, some of below applies to you! If most of it does, we could probably become best friends or perhaps the very worse of rivals and bitter enemies-who knows how these things work!
Read away and let me know…are you a book geek too? Have I missed something and I need to add it to the list?
- You can’t pass a bookshop without going in. It draws you in, like a magnet….walking, walking, walking, turning? turning into bookshop…exceeellent.
- You can’t leave a bookshop without buying something. There’s always something there that’s just begging to be bought. ‘Buy me, buy me!’ said the 10 euro book.
- You’re number one favourite shop-is a bookshop.
- You often have hours pass by while you’ve been in the bookshop and not noticed.
- Sometimes you envy the people that work in bookshops and libraries.
- Sometimes you visited the library so often as a child (and perhaps now, still!), that they knew you by name.
- People never wonder where you disappeared to, they look round for the nearest bookshop and then just pop in there to find you.
- The smell of bookshops and books relaxes you, in fact you notice when you enter a bookshop you often inhale, deeply and a grin begins to spread across your face. Your eyes light up and you abandon whoever you are with to go wander the shelves. If they try to start talking to you, loudly (and not the odd, whispered ‘oh look the new one!’) and you have to shush them, mortified that they’d embarrass you like this in front of the bookshop employees or they follow you around, sighing as if they’re bored, these things will all ensure you never return with them to a bookshop.
- If you’re somewhere where there is more than one bookshop and someone asks which one is better. You have at least 3 pros and cons for each place. These will often include points like their shelf size of a particular genre-how big or small it is, their variety of books, how quiet the place is and what type of seating can be found there. Oh and if their deals are any good, 3 for 2 is always a good thing-well not for my pocket!
- You’re the friend people ask for good book recommendations. You should wear a badge, people are missing out that they don’t know you have, the knowledge.
- When you have holidays coming up, you plan for the amount of books you can read in the time you have, you image the big pile with glee. Planning for everything else follows after this.
- You would never dog ear a book. Never.
- You have numerous random bookmarks, everywhere.
- You have extremely fancy bookmarks, made not just from paper but material, metal or wood.
- You always get books or book related things for your birthday or Christmas or every occasion really (and this makes you happy, oh so happy!)
- You have pre-ordered a book. Many of them.
- Amazon is like a best friend. You like those recommendation emails they send you. Sometimes you laugh and say things like ‘Oh amazon, you know me so well.’ and then look around to make sure no one heard you.
- You often get annoyed at an author for taking so long to write the next sequel. You expect them not to have any life and just slave away, just so you get your next fix of their series.
- Once you’ve read this ‘next fix’ you’re almost depressed that it’s over and now you have nothing to read again.
- Breaking the spine or having one broken on one of your books gives you a sick feeling deep in your stomach. (that crack, god the crack of the glue in the binding! Don’t do it! Eventually pages fall out!) If you see someone bending their book back until the covers meet, you cringe and think, if that book were mine, I’d never treat it with that kind of abuse. You think that book would love you all the better for it. (This is beginning to sound a lot like craziness! Mwhaa!) Mind, a tiny little bit of wrinkling in the spine is fine, shows a book is loved.
- Similarly leaving a book open, face down for ages so you don’t loose your page (a few minutes-fine, I’m not that bad, but not for the night or longer) This means it will never again close properly. If you leave it like that long enough it will always just open on that page, over and over again!
- Someone ripping the page of your book or completely out of your book (even worse!) would begin your long unending high shriek of horror and pain. You would seriously contemplated buying a new replacement book, just so you know this one isn’t in your collection, ripped and ruined. (You possibly have already done this at least once? No one who knows me would dare rip my books, I’d turn into a harpy. I did have one work acquaintance I made the mistake of lending a book to while she went on holiday. She accidentally dropped the book into the pool, dried it out in the baking Spanish sun for a few days and gave it back to me pages stuffed in, falling out, warped cover with the words ‘I was going to buy you another one, but it dried out. So I didn’t think you’d mind.’…..Ever more, she’s just gotten book recommendations, no books.)
- Leaving a movie that’s been adapted from one of your favourite books, the words ‘the book was better’ or ‘they didn’t do that in the book’ always passes your lips. (Though sometimes, secretly, you thought the film was fantastic (rarely)! But saying it would feel like a betrayal to the literary world in general.)
- When a friend or acquaintance who never reads or has never seemed interested in the written word, ever, begins to start talking about one of your favourite books-first you suppress the look of surprise, then the gigantic sneer-there is no way they love that book or understand it like you do. No way. (if they have the book in their hand, sometimes you ask to see it, just to ensure it’s the same one. Perhaps the author and title and the cover are just extremely similar…no damn it, its the same.)
- When a friend or acquaintance (possibly the same person above? <(‘~’)> ) again with no love for the English language, reading or writing, gets an A in an English paper and you get a lower grade, little green monsters take over piloting your body. They seem to like shouting ‘why!’ at the sky and slamming things a lot; locker doors, bedroom doors, your head against the wall-repeatedly.
- You have a massive book collection that you often glance over and smile fondly at, like they’re little friends waving back (I’m starting to sound delusional, yes? Hello small friendies!)
- When you look up at this collection, you’re enormously proud of the fact you can remember exactly what happens in each book and which ones you loved more.
- The books you loved more have a better position on your bookshelf, particularly if you like rereading them a lot.
- You have a few signed books that you love. And perhaps the odd first edition, which if you had people over to your house, you would include them in the grand tour. ‘And here is my first edition…’ (I have signed books, no first editions *sigh* )
- You hate having miss-matched covers of books in a series. They all have to be the same version, example; all British versions of Harry Potter or all the American versions, there is no such things as having a few of one and the other, are you mad?
- You have bought more than one version of a book because of a new cover being prettier than the one you had already.
- You hate when you’ve bought the large tall hardback of a brand new release and the rest of the series you have is in paperback (though you just couldn’t wait for them to release the paper back, you wanted that book-yesterday!) Now it just sticks out there on your shelf, like an awkward billy-no-mates giant book, beside the other smaller novels in the series. You set that book up for a life of bullying, are you happy?
- Your love of books can often be combined with and begin to encompass a notebook or stationary fetish. You have many beautiful, leather bound, fancy notebooks that you have no intention of ever writing in. You do use a diary, it’s the most unique you could find online. Everyone has admired it at some point and you smile with pride, as if you created it.
- As a child, you were given pocket money with the words ‘don’t spend it on a book this time, gets some clothes.’ The thought of buying clothes always seems like a missed opportunity. There is no fun to be had there, it’s a chore, whereas a book buying session, why that can reach heights of untold excitement!
- If you started a really good book or series, gotten swept up in it and then remembered you already had an engagement to go to, a party, for coffee or out to a night club, you have at least cancelled once with ‘the flu’, just to stay home and continue to read. It becomes a shameful secret…
- You also have the odd friend or two that you can actually tell them the truth in this instance and they completely understand and don’t judge you. (Hi Latimer!) In fact, they have done it themselves too at some point.
- While you have an e-reader and you love it. You still prefer actual books and they will never be replaced. In fact, you bought an e-book, loved it so much you want to now go buy the bound book version, just so you can added it to your shelf.
So…anyone else find they’re like this? Or have I gone too far?
Latimer and Ridley love hearing from people, so if you have any opinions, non-opinions or little nuggets of wisdom please share them with us in the comments below! Alternatively, if you’d like to get to know us more, why not email us or follow us on twitter and talk to us directly!
In other MLR news, we are currently working on two novels, one of which we intend to publish free on our website. We’re striving hard to make them both LSA and RSA worthy! So stay tuned for more information!